Real Influence

Research shows that most people would rather be influenced than pushed, because it feels like more control is retained when the impression is one of influence. To influence people, you need to show them what an amazing outcome you can produce.

In this video, Mark Goulston, M.D. provides ways to be more influential.  He asserts, “Blind spots exist and cause us to reassert our own desires. Listening past the point of blind spots helps you to win over your audience.”

After viewing the video, select an “Idea for Action” to incorporate into your routine this week.


Ideas for Action

  • Practice presenting your ideas in various ways to find the one that is the most dynamic, exciting, and compelling. Try writing down different versions of your idea by using new adjectives, speaking with more enthusiasm, and using expressive body language to make your case persuasive.
  • Try to identify your blind spot before it gets in your way. When you share your idea, make it about what your audience wants or needs, not what you want or need. Keep the focus on the person or people you are trying to influence and how you can help them.
  • Leave “you’re here” behind and go after “their there.” Ask questions to find out what people do, what they want, and where they want to go. Be genuine in your reactions; people can tell when you are faking a response just to get in their good graces. Discover as much about them as you can so you are better able to influence them.
  • Go the extra mile, even when you think you have already done enough. Be especially sure to follow through on promises. When people know they can rely on you to do what you say you will do, you have a much better chance of influencing them on important issues.

Questions to Ask

  • Why do you want to be able to influence people?
  • What is the difference between influencing individuals and manipulating them?
  • Why is a sense of control important when people make decisions?
  • What other steps can you take to influence people in your favor?